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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25475089">Everything I Wanted</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalredlove/pseuds/crystalredlove'>crystalredlove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band), TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Best Friends, Fluff, Light Angst, Male-Female Friendship, No Angst, Other members slightly mentioned - Freeform, Platonic Feelings, Sad with a Happy Ending, but not a lot, loosely based on the billie eilish song, no romance unless you wanna see it that way i won't stop you i guess, projecting my emotions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:06:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>932</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25475089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalredlove/pseuds/crystalredlove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just Chan comforting Sana</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Everything I Wanted</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi!! I saw a picture of these two, and I'm aware of how these two have a close friendship, so I'm kinda projecting my own feelings through with them lmao</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
<p></p><div><p>Sana knows she's being irrational.</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>She can't be perfect 24/7. She knows this. It's impossible. But when she gets constantly compared to her other members-- be it looks, vocals, or dance-- she can't help the pang in her heart. Sana doesn't want to be compared to the others. Not in a way that insults her, nor in a way that praises her.</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>She wants to he recognized as her own person.</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>Of course, it's hard when she's in a group of nine members. Really hard. But the other members don't seem to have a hard time with it. And if they do, they hide it really well.</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>She's currently in bed, at ass-o'clock in the morning, because she can't stop overthinking.</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>"Maybe a little walk will help." She tells herself, glancing over to her sleeping roommate. She feels the corners of her lips come up ever so slightly when she hears Momo snore borderline obnoxiously.</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>Without a sound, she makes her way out of the apartment once she's got her coat, shoes, and face mask on. A quick text to the shares groupchat with the rest of twice tells them where she's gone to, in case they wake up and realize she's gone.</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>Once she's reached the main doors, she's surprised to come across Bang Chan.</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>"Oh, hi!"</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>"Hey!"</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>A friendly hug. They smile, a knowing look on both their faces.</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>"Rough night?"</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>"Tell me about it, I'm producing songs left and right. But I'm done for now. Why are you up so late?"</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>Sana ran a hand through her hair, suddenly feeling ridiculous for her internal termoils. "Overthinking, I guess." Chan pouted and put her hand in his with no hesitation. "Let's go out for a quick snack. There's a 24 hour convinience store close by."</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>---</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>After having gotten their snacks (tea and chips), the two sat at a park bench, munching in silence. "What's on your mind, Sana?" Chan inquired after a few minutes. Sana stared off into the distance, pondering her next words before giving up and speaking from her heart. "I feel inadequate. Here I am, a member of one of the world's biggest groups. I have so much money, I have all the fame and attention. I'm constantly praised for what I do, and yet-" She stopped herself when she realized she was getting worked up. Her shoulders shook and eyes watered up just a bit. "But the endless 'oh, compared to Mina', 'compared to jihyo' and so on... It just gets to me lately. What's so hard about just telling me I do good without bringing up my members?" A frustrated groan erupted from her lips. "And not even just as a way to bring me down, I don't like the way I'm compared to the members to bring them down either, I just-"</p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div><p>Chan listened intently, his heart clenching for his friend. "Sana..." His soft tone broke something inside her. The water dam completely burst, and she rushed to hid her face on his shoulder as she let out a sob. He did nothing, except hold her close and let her cry it out. "You're doing great, Sana. It's okay to cry."</p></div><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry." Sana pulled back after what seemed to be forever, but really couldn't have been more than ten minutes. "I didn't mean to-" </p></div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"Sana."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Chan's serious demeanor took her by surprise. "Wha-"</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"I know it's hard to believe, given the job that we're doing, but it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel hurt by what others say. But what's not okay is forgetting that you're only human, and holding yourself up to such a high standard. Wanting to do your best for your fans is okay, but the true fans will understand you're doing the best to what YOU can do, and they'll love you for it." He pulled her into another hug, resting his chin on the top of her head. "You're enough just being Sana. And the world is blessed to have such a wonderful human like you."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Sana smiled, letting Chan's words and embrace calm her thoughts. After a few minutes of silence, she whispered, "Thank you, Chan. I don't know what I'd do without you."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"Ah, you'd do just fine."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>They pulled apart enough to look each other in the eyes, then broke into a small fit of giggles.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Another half hour was spent in the park, talking about anything and everything, before walking back to the jyp dorms and heading to their places in silence.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>"Hey, Chan?"</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>He looked at her, an eyebrow raised. "Yes?"</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>She turned to look at him with a smile. "Thank you."</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Chan simply nodded in her direction before heading to his own place with the boys.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Sana made her way into her bedroom, sighing once she was under the covers. A wave of sleep washed over her, and she dozed off with Chan's words in mind.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>---</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>The following morning, Sana woke up feeling the same dread in her chest from the day before. The inadequacy, lack of self improvement, and overall numbness.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>But a morning message from Chan reading, "Morning, Sana! Let's kick today's ass and make it our bitch!" put a huge grin on her face.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Chaeyoung came in, putting her hair in a pony tail. "Ready to take on today?" A flash of determination sparked in her eyes, forming a flame of hope burst in Sana's heart. "Yeah. Let's do this!"</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>With her best friend, and her members by her side, she felt the world was hers for the taking.</p>
</div><p> </p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>So, she went on to seize the day.</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading this mess lol</p></blockquote></div></div>
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